


Second Chances

by DaniPayson



Series: Second Chances [1]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-03 00:23:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15807543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniPayson/pseuds/DaniPayson
Summary: Taking place after the finale, Fox Mulder and an expectant Dana Scully decide to move to the mountains of Colorado to start a new life with their new child.





	Second Chances

Sometimes it didn’t feel real. Every day it hadn’t felt real. Every night I found myself awakening in the wee hours just to check to make sure it hadn’t all been a dream and every night I found myself in the same condition. However, this night when I was awakened I found myself alone. Sitting up in the bed and being startled when the large hardback book I fell asleep reading fell off my body onto the tough wood floor.  
The room was bare. Boxes piled five feet high lined the walls. In less than twelve hours the entire house would be empty with nothing but memories. Not all good.  
There’s an old saying “when God closes a door he opens a window” and that is exactly what happened to me approximately six months ago. For the last two months I mourned for the son I didn’t know and focused on the miracle I had been blessed with. I didn’t have a chance to raise and protect my son, but I was given a second chance and I was not going to squander it.  
My biggest concern at the moment was where my other half was at 1:15AM. The wood floor was cold as my bare feet touched it and the shivers pulsated through my body. I could see light coming from downstairs, so figuring that’s where he was, I made my way down the creaky old stairs in my two sizes too big grey and navy colored flannel pajamas to find Mulder seeming to disassemble the fort of boxes we had formed just days ago.  
“What the hell are you doing!?” I almost screeched at the sight of packing tape all over the desk and floor with boxes open – thankfully their contents seemed to still be inside.  
“Go back to bed, Dana.” He said behind a tower of boxes not yet opened and ransacked.  
Since a visit to city hall nearly two months ago and making things as final as they could be, Mulder started calling me Dana. It didn’t feel right. It sounded weird every time he said it, but since I was technically a Mulder now as well he said the change was needed; I just hoped he’d stop soon.  
“Mulder, the movers will be here in ten hours. All of this has to be in a truck. Why are you doing this?”  
“I’m looking for something.”  
“What?”  
“The proof I need.”  
“Of what?” He didn’t reply, “Mulder…”  
“He came to me in a dream.”  
“Who?”  
“William.”  
I felt like someone punched me in the heart, head and stomach all at the same time, “He’s gone, Mulder.” I replied way too quickly.  
“Well, he told me the proof I need is here somewhere. In one of these boxes.”  
There were roughly twenty boxes just in the living room. Some of random items Mulder couldn’t part with, and then there was the attic which still housed many boxes from our apartments which sat in a storage unit before we could safely retrieve them a decade earlier. I looked at one of the boxes he had already gone though and on the side in someone else’s handwriting was written ‘Dana, bedroom’ I hadn’t even bothered looking in these boxes in over ten years, but as I peeked into it seeing a quilt and a couple picture frames it instantly hit me what he was looking for.  
“Mulder, stop.” I said hardly able to make out the words given the lump in my throat.  
Mulder stood up and looked directly at me, “Why?”  
I shook my head. “Please. Just stop.”  
“You know I can’t.”  
Closing my eyes, I walked over to where he had surrounded himself with a fort of boxes. There was one box I hadn’t opened in seventeen years. Not since Monica packed it up for me. It was easy to find. Marked with a date May 20, 2001.  
“Give me the knife.” I said looking up at him, the tears already forming in my eyes.  
Mulder did as I asked, a confused look upon his face, and I quickly ran the knife through the seam of the box before handing it back to him and ripping apart the tape. On the top of the box was a blue bear, under various blankets friends had knitted and crotched. On the side was a book. I pulled out the book and handed it to him.  
“There.” I said before having to walk away.  
I got to the staircase and stayed there. Waiting. I heard him open the book and unfold the paper I knew would still be under the cover.  
Seconds felt like hours as I waited for some response. Eventually I turned and looked at him…still looking at the paper in front of him.  
“Say something.” I begged.  
He shook his head, “Why did you lie to me?  
“I never lied.” I replied wanting to go to him but keeping my distance. “He wanted us to let him go. Us.”  
Mulder closed his eyes and folded the paper back up before placing it in the book and slamming it shut. “He wanted me to find this.”  
“You have to let him go.”  
Mulder shook his head, then turned and looked directly at me, “He’s OUR son.”  
Walking over to the couch I sat down and put my head in my hands and just cried. I’d been crying a lot lately over such frivolous things like the weird stain on the counter I couldn’t get out to the dog that died in that Lifetime movie, but now I was crying over the loss of our son. Our. Son.  
I felt Mulder move to the couch next to me and put his arm around my back, pulling me next to him, but I couldn’t look at him. I never lied, but I withheld information to protect our son and our unborn child. William was gone and I knew Mulder would spend the rest of his life seeking vengeance for his death instead of focusing on what mattered most at this moment. For the last two months he had been there. Doctors’ appointments, a second ultrasound, being reminded for the billionth time that having a healthy child after fifty was rare and to not get my hopes up…he was there…but in the last few minutes after letting him see the actual DNA results I felt I had lost him to a ghost.  
“I just needed to know the truth.” Mulder replied squeezing me tighter to him, “You didn’t have to lie.”  
“I never lied.” I swore again looking up at him, “I never said he wasn’t yours. I said he wasn’t ours. We didn’t raise him. We didn’t know him. How he even found out about me I’ll never understand, and when he knew nothing of you I started to fear the results were incorrect. That what Skinner told me was true, but I didn’t want to believe that…I couldn’t believe that because I knew he was yours…but I also knew you could never let him go, even in death, we needed you now.”  
Mulder nodded, “You don’t think he’s dead, do you?”  
“I haven’t had any contact since that night, but no…” I took a deep breath, “We’ve been given a second chance….”  
Mulder nodded and then took a deep breath as well, “I’m good now.”  
“Really?” I said, knowing he was lying.  
“No, I am. It’s hard, knowing he could be out there somewhere and we’ll never know…but that’s what he wants. That’s what he needs. I have to respect that.”  
“Thank you.” I replied knowing he was still lying, “Can we please get back to bed. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.”  
“I know. You already mapped it out.” He smiled and took my hand after withdrawing it from my back.  
After returning to bed, his arms wrapped around my belly pulling my back against his chest I had almost drifted back off to sleep when he asked if I was awake.  
“Barely…” I replied; my eyes still closed.  
“How did you even get the…stuff…for the test?”  
I opened my eyes and looked around the dark room as I sent my mind back so many years until I remembered, “I got a swab before you left. Luckily you tend to have your mouth open while sleeping.”  
“You really had the foresight to do that?”  
“I had to know, Mulder.”  
“I know you did, Dana.”  
I grumbled and closed my eyes as he pulled me tighter to him.

The last two weeks had been a roller coaster of emotions. Starting from the day I woke up ill, fearing I had one of the many flus going around and quickly making a doctor’s appointment with the physician I had been seeing since I moved to Bethesda. The appointment with Dr. Abrams started like any other. How was I doing? Did I catch the Redskins game? The Capitals? Then came the blood pressure test – normal – no fever.

“I can’t find anything physically wrong with you, Dana.” Dr. Abrams said as she scribbled on my chart.  
“I’ve been lethargic and I’ve been unable to keep anything down in the last few days.” I basically whined.  
She nodded and looked at my chart, “We could do a blood test to rule out other possibilities.”  
“What kind of possibilities?”  
“Have you been having hot flashes, heavy menstrual cycles, and irritability?”  
“No, but it hasn’t exactly been regular either.”  
“When was your last cycle?”  
I shrugged, “It’s not really something I keep track of, but it’s been a while. Sometimes I don’t have one for months. It’s not unordinary.”  
She eyed me a bit, “How is that unordinary?”  
I really didn’t want to get into my convoluted manipulated biology with this woman who just saw me as your average fifty-four-year-old, “Believe me. It just is.”  
“So, you’re basically telling me you haven’t had your period in three months and you’re suffering from fatigue and nausea and you really have no idea what is wrong with you. I thought you were a doctor, Dana?”  
“I’m fifty-four.”  
“It’s not out of the realm of possibilities.”  
Why the hell did she say that?  
I rapidly shook my head, “No. It’s impossible.”  
“Have you had sexual intercourse in the last three months?  
I looked down and unbuttoned the cuff of my white blouse before rolling it up my right arm, “Just do the test.”  
The alarm buzzed, startling me out of my slumber. I grabbed my phone and turned it off before rolling over and looking at the man with the two days beard growth and mouth agape as he continued sleeping. I nudged him and he groaned. I nudged him harder his eyes opened a bit then shifted towards me.  
“You could be nicer about it.” He moaned.  
“No time for that.” I said sitting up, “I need to get this bedding washed and dried and in the boxes before the movers arrive. YOU need to re-tape all the boxes you tore apart in the middle of the night in your quest for the truth.”  
Mulder rubbed his eyes like a toddler, “You’re mean when you’re pregnant.”  
“Wait till my water breaks. GET UP!”  
He grumbled as he tossed the sheets and comforter off of him, “How about breakfast? What do you want?”  
Since the kitchen had been packed up for days we’d been racking up the Grub Hub charges because we were too tired to actually get in the car and go somewhere. At least this would be the last delivery charge in Virginia, “I could honestly go for pancakes.” I said allowing myself to eat whatever the hell I so desired.  
Mulder grabbed his phone off the nightstand and looked to be scrolling through the app as I began to strip the bed and essentially pushing him into a standing position, “IHOP or Denny’s”  
“IHOP.” I said ripping the fitted sheet off the king mattress.  
“Eggs, bacon?”  
“Just pancakes. Lots of pancakes and butter.”  
He nodded, “Cof-“he stopped himself as I glared at him, “Sorry.”  
“That’s just cruel.”  
“Two orange juices then.”  
I forced a smile, “Thank you for suffering with me.”  
“Given the long drive ahead of us I can’t say I’ll be able to stick to that.”  
“Understandable” I said before heading down the stairs with the rolled-up sheets.  
All that was left in the basement was the washer and dryer and enough detergent for two loads of laundry. Per Virginia laws when you sell a home you have to leave the appliances but can take the washer and dryer. We had decided to include them with the sale of the house over a month ago which sold in hours. My condo in Bethesda sold faster and after the insurance covered repairs I was glad to see it go. We were now a retired couple living on a pension – which they gladly gave us just to go away and never come back – Kersh’s words.  
Having a baby was just a bit out of the ordinary.  
Deciding that we needed to get the as far away from everything, Mulder essentially went to the internet and sight unseen purchased a million-dollar home in the mountains of Colorado - Pagosa Springs to be exact - it even had a private road with a gate – something we were even more partial to now considering the circumstances. Four bedrooms, which could come in handy if I ended up in the Guinness Book of World Records. Everything had happened so fast that now as I stood in my empty basement I started to wonder if I even had a chance to process what was happening to me. Closing my eyes, I shook it off. I was fine. We were fine.  
After checking on the man re-taping and stacking boxes I made my way back up the stairs to the bedroom where I heard my phone ringing. Not a usual sound at 7:15AM on a Friday. Especially after our sudden retirement. Rushing to it out of habit I grabbed the smart phone off the nightstand and realized it was my older brother calling. He had been calling all week and I had ignored every call. I was told to avoid all stress. Bill Scully had been a giant stress ball since our mother died.  
Why didn’t I visit her more? Why didn’t I take her in when her health was declining? Her funeral turned into make Dana feel guilty about everything and I know it took all of Mulder’s strength not to deck him in front of my entire family. It was that moment when I knew we would eventually end up right where we were – minus one very large addition.  
Taking a minute to look at the gold diamond rings on my left ring finger I took a deep breath and picked up the phone.  
“Hi, Bill.”  
“You finally answer.” He replied in his usual annoying tone.  
“I’ve been busy.”  
“Too busy to talk to your own brother?”  
Deep breaths, “What do you want, Bill?” I tried to stay calm.  
“No pleasantries with you I guess. Well, I’ll be in D.C. on business next week and I thought we could get together for lunch or something.”  
Oh, this was actually going to be fun, “I can’t. I’m moving today.”  
“Moving where?”  
“Colorado.”  
Silence on his end for a few seconds before he spoke, “Why Colorado?”  
“Because it’s not Virginia. It’s not D.C. and it’s not Maryland.”  
“But why?”  
“Fresh start. I retired from the bureau almost two months ago.”  
“Retired? At your age?”  
“You can retire from the bureau the day after your fiftieth birthday after a minimum length of service; which I had.”  
“Are you going back to medicine?”  
“Not at this time.” I walked to the window and looked out at the sky. Not a single cloud could be seen.  
“Then what are you going to do?”  
Taking another deep breath and letting it out slowly I just had to get it out there, “I’m pregnant, Bill.”  
Dead silence  
A lot of dead silence  
Too much dead silence  
“Are you going to say something or do I end this call now?” I added  
“But…you’re…” he stuttered.  
“I’m what, Bill?”  
“Fifty…fifty…how old are you again?”  
“Nice. I turned fifty-four in February. Thanks for remembering.”  
“But fifty-four-year-old women just don’t get pregnant.”  
“This one did.”  
“Did you go to a clinic? Do you want a reality show?”  
“That’s pretty insulting.” I snapped back at his cruelty.  
“But how?”  
I rolled my eyes, “You have a son. You know how.”  
He audibly groaned, “So, he’s still in the picture.”  
“He’s my husband and yes.”  
“When did that happen?”  
“Almost two months ago as well.”  
“Thanks for inviting me.”  
“No one was invited it. It was a civil ceremony in front of a judge. Nothing fancy. Nothing you had to max out credit cards to pay for.” Ok that was low. But it felt good.  
“Classy.” He shot back, “Divorce costs more.”  
“I’m well aware.” I sighed and heard what sounded like someone coming down the driveway, “But I don’t see that happening anyway.” I said looking out the window at the red Honda Civic coming towards the porch and stopping.  
“So, you’re just going to have a kid, move away and never talk to your family again?”  
That’s the plan, “Not necessarily. But at this time, I need to focus on myself. For once in my life put myself before others.”  
“Like you’re some kind of martyr?”  
I wanted to hang up but was interrupted by Mulder announcing the arrival of pancakes from downstairs and took a politer and less hormonal approach, “I have to go now, Bill. I’ll give you a call once we’re settled.”  
“So, in a decade?”  
Rolling my eyes, I hit end on the call and tossed the phone on the bare mattress before placing both hands on my extended belly and taking a very deep breath. Closing my eyes, I stood there for a moment and waited…unsure what I was actually waiting for I was greeted with a small kick and instantly felt the stress of the call fade away. Opening my eyes, I could now focus on what was important. Pancakes.  
The dining room table was covered in Styrofoam containers as Mulder removed the boxes from the bag.  
“Who were you talking to?” he asked as I sat at the table grabbing hold of a cutlery set in a plastic bag and ripping the plastic off the ebony knife and fork like a rabid animal, “Must have been a good call...” he said carefully placing one of the white boxes in front of me.  
“Bill.” I replied ripping open the box and inhaling the scent of butter milked goodness.  
“I thought you were avoiding his call.” He replied sitting down and opening a container of fruit and another of dry toast.  
Slathering the butter on the pancakes before cutting into them I shook my head, “It was better to just get it over with.” I got out before shoving pancake into my mouth and wanting to melt as it went down my throat.  
“And to think, I thought I only got those sounds out of you.” He smirked before cutting into his cantaloupe, “Did you tell him?”  
I nodded as more pancake needed to be in my mouth and stomach.  
“What did he say?”  
“What does everyone say when we tell them?” I replied after a large swallow, “Nothing beats the look Skinner gave us.”  
“Well he was in the hospital on a lot of pain medication.” Mulder replied “He still wants to see us before we head out of town. I said lunch would be good.”  
“I’m sure we can fit it in. We just need to beat the moving trucks and I have my first appointment with my new obstetrician next Friday .”  
“And I’m sure we can make it to the first stop in Lexington tonight.”  
“Hope so. The hotel is nonrefundable.” I said before finishing off the last of my short stack and realizing I was still hungry.  
I must have looked that pathetic, because my other half smiled and pulled another box out of the bag, “You think I don’t know you and your appetite by now?”  
I honestly giggled as I took the box from him and after pushing the empty one aside I happily opened the other box to reveal three more large pancakes, “I may live to regret this.” I said picking up my plastic fork, “But for now…”  
Mulder chuckled and got up from the table, “I’m going to shower and finish packing before the movers get here. You enjoy your feast.” He said before kissing me on the top of my head and bounding up the stairs.  
Sighing I leaned back and looked at how foreign the house looked now. I had only moved back in after selling my condo in Bethesda a little over a month ago, and since then it was like we were back where we were almost a decade earlier and even though the house had a spare bedroom we both knew we needed to start fresh somewhere else. Somewhere far from here. For so many reasons. Trying not to cry from the nostalgia I shook off the memories and went back to my pancakes as I listened to the shower start above me.  
After devouring my second breakfast and then taking a much-needed shower where I marveled at still being able to see most of my feet, I quickly got dressed and threw my pajamas into my very large suitcase before running - more like running and wobbling - down two flights of stairs with our bath towels for the last wash.  
With the sheets in the dryer and the towels in the washer I made my way back upstairs just in time to hear a truck come barreling down the driveway.  
“No turning back now.” Mulder said as he made his way to the front door.  
I nodded and followed him, “I don’t plan on it.”

“You’re going to wear a tread into the floor.” I said watching Mulder pace in front of me as I sat on a very uncomfortable hospital waiting room chair.  
“They said they’d have an update in an hour. Has it been an hour?”  
I checked my watch, “It’s been two.”  
Mulder groaned and started his pacing again.  
“Please sit down!” I pleaded after he passed me for a fifth time fearing I would throw up from the motion alone.  
Mulder must have realized what he was doing and eventually sat in the chair to the right of me. Sighing, loudly, he looked up then over at me, “How are you feeling?”  
“Fine.” I replied, more concerned for the man who we found unconscious and pinned under a couple of cars was feeling.  
“Are you sure? When did you last eat?”  
“I don’t remember.” I honestly replied, “I’ll get something later.”  
Mulder pulled his phone out of his pocket, “It’s after midnight.”  
“Later.” I said rubbing my temples, “Once we know he’s ok.” The pain of guilt taking over all of my own needs.  
“It’s been a long day.”  
I really wished he’d stop talking.  
“Shit…” he mumbled.  
“What?” I continued to rub my temples with my eyes closed, but knew I had to reply to his …statement.  
“We were supposed to be in New York City right now.”  
Now I groaned. The events of the day making me completely forget the spur of the moment take the day off of work for a long weekend we had planned a few days earlier. “And there’s three hundred dollars I’m now out.”  
“I’ll call the hotel. Tell them the truth. Maybe they’ll reverse it.”  
I shrugged, my eyes still closed with my fingers on my forehead, “There’s not much compassion in the world anymore.”  
“It’s worth a shot at least.” He said before leaving me to make his probably useless phone call.  
“Ms. Scully.” I heard a woman’s voice next to me.  
I opened my eyes to see a young black woman wearing blue scrubs looking down at me as she held a clipboard, “I apologize for not getting back to you sooner.”  
“Just let me know he’s ok.”  
She nodded, “Mr. Skinner has a few broken ribs as well as a broken leg, but we expect him to make a full recovery; thankfully the paramedics got to him before he lost any more blood.”  
“Can we see him?”  
“Not at this time. He’s in a lot of pain and we’d really like him to get his rest. Will you be staying in town?”  
I nodded, “We don’t have any other plans at this time.”  
She nodded, “I have your number and I’ll give you a call when I believe he will be able to accept visitors. Should be tomorrow or the day after.” She smiled and walked away just as Mulder was returning.  
“So?” I asked as he was shoving his phone in his pocket.  
“Say what you want about New Yorkers but give them a sob story about your boss being run over and they let you off the hook. I told them we’ll be sure to come up another time.”  
“That’s a relief. The doctor said that he has some broken ribs and a broken leg but should make a full recovery and will give us a call when he can have visitors.”  
“So, we might as well find a place to stay for the night…or two...or..”  
“I’m sadly certain Kersh wants us out of the bureau. For good this time.”  
“For once I actually agree with the man on something.” Mulder said leading me out of the emergency room waiting area.  
Demanding I get some kind of nourishment, we stopped at the only place open after midnight, McDonalds, and I sat and ate French fries in Mulder’s mid-life crisis Mustang while he drove around looking for a hotel that looked suitable for the night. Settling on a Holiday Inn that looked fairly empty I finished off the fried potato goodness and followed my partner into the lobby where a tired man named Gavin stood before a computer rubbing his eyes.  
“Can I help you?” he yawned while running his hands through his obviously unwashed chestnut brown hair.  
“We need a room…” he looked to me for a second…”rooms?”  
I rolled my eyes and looked to Gavin, “Do you have A room available?” I asked putting all the emphasis on the A. We could share a bed. We had since my condo nearly exploded.  
Gavin hit – and I mean hit – some keys on the keyboard, “We have a king-sized bed on the first floor with an outside entrance.”  
“That’s fine.” Mulder pulled out his wallet and handed the young man a credit card.  
Gavin took it then narrowed his eyes on Mulder, “Dude, is that blood?”  
The night had become such a blur even I didn’t realize Mulder had red spots all over his jacket.  
“Really nasty game of paintball.” He replied, then looked at me and shook his head in his ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ way of ending subjects.  
I nodded, Gavin shrugged and ran his credit card before handing the card back to Mulder along with two room keys, “112” he said pointing to the left, “There’s an open parking spot right in front.”  
We both thanked Gavin before leaving the lobby and getting back into Mulder’s car to drive twenty feet and part directly in front of room 112.  
The hotel room reminded me of the ones from the early 80s, and I feared the bedspread was just as old as I ripped it off the bed and tossed it on the floor. The blanket and sheets and least looked washed in the last decade.  
“I really want to wash…everything…off of me, so I’m going to take a quick shower.” Mulder said pulling off his coat and throwing it across the room where it landed in the open closet with the mirror doors.  
I nodded in understanding and pulled off my own coat as he walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I pulled my phone out of my pocket for the first time in hours to see four missed calls. One from the hotel in New York City and three from Mulder from over six hours earlier…. which felt like a lifetime ago.  
I was placing my coat on the back of a chair when the shower stopped and moments later Mulder exited the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist “The Holiday Inn in Norfolk does not provide robes.” He said running another towel through his wet hair, “Just warning you.”  
“I just want to sleep.” I replied sitting on the edge of the bed to remove my shoes and socks before removing the rest of my clothing and folding it up before placing it on the chair with my coat. Wearing only a bra and panties I turned to face my partner whose eyes quickly moved to my slightly swollen abdomen, “Don’t stare.” I said sharply before getting under the covers of the bed, “Please.”  
He nodded and turned off the lights before getting into the bed as well turning onto his side to face me. The moonlight coming through the curtains giving us enough light to see one another, but also enough dark to sleep, “How far along?” was the first question he asked.  
“Thirteen weeks.” I replied.  
“How long have you known?”  
“One week.” I replied, “Only one.”  
Mulder licked his lips and sighed, “Which explains the impromptu long weekend in New York.”  
“I wanted to make it special.” I sighed, “I had it all planned out. A nice dinner, a walk around central park and then…” I sighed again and repositioned myself closer to him…for warmth, “Just never turns out the way I plan. At least you’re still here.”  
“I’m not going anywhere.”  
“That’s not what I meant.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before continuing, “I’m scared.”  
“Me too.”  
“At least we’re on the same page.”  
Licking my lips, I moved even closer to him, inviting him to wrap his arms around me and let me know everything would be ok.  
I wanted to believe him.

My stomach churning awakened me from a very deep slumber. It wasn’t hunger pains and it wasn’t nausea. I wasn’t familiar with this feeling, but now I was awake and as I sat up in the foreign bed I realized I was alone. Even though I knew he wouldn’t dare do it – especially now – the instant fear I had been deserted came over me. My eyes began to tear up as I got out of the bed and looked around the dark room. The bathroom was dark and empty and his car keys were missing from the small dining table he had tossed them on only hours earlier. Paranoia plagued me as I grabbed my coat, the second key card still in the pocket and put the coat over my partially naked body to see if his car was still in front of the door.  
Upon opening the front door my fears eased away seeing his car looking right at me, but where was he?  
I stepped out for a moment to look around the parking lot and my eyes stopped on the man sitting in the aluminum chair in front of the window of the motel room. Fully clothed with a brown bottle in his hand. Every question I had was stupid, at least in my head it was, so I pulled my coat tighter around my body and sat down in the chair next to his.  
“Where did you find beer?” I felt wasn’t as stupid as all my other questions.  
“It’s Root Beer. Unfortunately, you can’t find real beer in this state at three am. I tried. So, I’m trying to pretend this is real beer.” He took a sip and sighed, “Not happening.” He placed the bottle on the small table between the two chairs and looked over at me as I looked at him, “Why are you up?”

“I think my stomach is objecting to eating my weight in fried food only a few hours ago. I’d ask you the same question, but I probably already know the answer.”  
“It’s been a very long twenty-four hours.” He sighed, picked up the bottle, chugged it and then scowled, “Very long.”  
I nodded and sighed as well, “I know…”  
“How are we going to do this?” he asked in a very blunt way.  
“Do what?” I replied, confused to what he was referring to.  
“This…” he said nodding at me, “Am I in the picture at all?”  
“Of course, you are. Why would you think differently?” I was honestly insulted and hurt by such a statement. “I already made my decision that I want you in my life. That hasn’t changed. Why would I have booked an expensive weekend in New York City if I didn’t?” my defensives may have been a bit high at the moment.  
“Just making sure.” He replied  
I shook my head, “I can’t believe you-“my rant cut off when I turned to scold him again and noticed a small velvet box on the table between us, “What the hell is that?”  
“What the hell do you think it is?” he gave a small smile and grabbed the bottle to finish off whatever was left of the non-alcoholic beverage.  
“It can’t be what I think it is.”  
“You won’t know until you open it.”  
My fingers shaking more than they should have, I reached for the small box and brought it to my lap. Holding it with both hands I slowly pulled the top from the bottom and felt like my heart would stop from the sight of it. I wasn’t that familiar with jewelry, let alone rings, but what was in front of me looked like the kind of ring girls dreamed about. The diamond was large and round and sparkled under the dim motel outside lighting. There were two smaller diamonds on either side of the larger diamond on the gold band. I really wasn’t sure what to do or say and as it was at this point I felt incapable of speaking.  
“You have to say something.” Mulder broke my mental silence.  
“Aren’t you supposed to?” I replied back and looked over at him knowing he was probably afraid, but I didn’t want him to be, “You already did the hard part.”  
“Buying that wasn’t the hard part.” He replied obviously swallowing the large lump in his throat, “I’ve had that ring for seventeen years….”  
“Oh…”I looked back down at the ring.  
“It’s not like I haven’t asked before, but you always said that it wasn’t the right time. I got that out of the safety deposit box last week. Once you said we should go away for the weekend I assumed this had to be the right time.” He sighed, loudly, “then everything went to hell.”  
“As it usually does every time we try to find any shred of happiness.”  
“Maybe that’s a sign too. Everything with my father, everything with William. Maybe everything happened so we could start over. Reborn and all that religious stuff…maybe that’s why…”  
“I’m fifty-four and three months pregnant?”  
“You’re the one who believes in signs.”  
I looked back at the ring and bit my lower lip. “I believe in us.” I looked back at him, “Even in the worst of times I always believed in that.”  
“Me too.” He said standing up and walking over and taking the ring out of my hands before kneeling before me as he never had before. Yes, he had asked me to marry him on numerous occasions. Generally, when he was drunk, drugged, lonely or during or after sex, but as he kneeled down before me, his tired face showing so much pain and anguish from the events of the previous day I could see that maybe this finally was the right time. At three am, in a motel parking lot after one of the absolute worst days of our lives maybe putting this ring on my finger would give him back something he lost the night before. Hope.  
He took my hands in his and just looked at me, as if he was looking at me for the first time. He seemed to be searching for the right words, I gently squeezed his hands in an effort to get him to say something. So many women dream of the day they’re proposed to, at this point I just wanted it over with.  
“Dana…” he finally got out, but after thirty seconds or so no other words followed.  
“Fox…” I replied in hopes some levity would get him to relax.  
He smiled, a true smile I hadn’t see in over twenty-four hours. He then nodded and looked down, “I deserved that.”  
“Mulder, how long have we been together?”  
“Longer than Justin Bieber has been alive.”  
“Aside from the fact it worries me you even know that, think about everything we’ve gone through. All of it. Even the memories we’d much rather forget. Think about closing the book on all of that and starting a new one. We may be older, a little rustier, but I believe now that this miracle happened for a reason. To prove how very much we belong together. To prove we are going to be ok.”  
Mulder nodded, “I’ve always known that.”  
“Then say what you need to say.”  
Taking a deep breath, he squeezed my hands and focused his eyes on mine, “Dana Katherine Scully, will you do me the honor of spending the rest of your life with me? Will you state before a priest or rabbi or Elvis Presley impersonator that you will stand by me in sickness and in health and every time the Knicks don’t make the playoffs?”  
“Keep going...” I noted that he still hadn’t asked the actual question. The question he had asked so many times before in jest or in excitement…but why couldn’t he ask it now?  
Nodding he adjusted himself on his knee, groaning a bit as he picked up the box and presented it to me in the classic way while seeming to read my face searching for an answer before he asked. I gave him a smile and just mouthed ‘I won’t say no this time.’  
Smiling he kneeled straighter and just let out, “Will you marry me?”  
There it was. He had asked it so many times before, but this time it felt real. It felt right.  
“Yes.” I said emphatically.  
As if the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders he took the ring out of the velvet box and placed it on my left finger. It fit perfectly. It felt strange, but also felt true. Like it should have been on my finger for the last seventeen years.  
Even though the timing felt off, it was also the first step we needed in starting over with our lives. Together. 

 

 

 

 

By a little after noon the house was removed of all of our personal belongings. I sat on the bottom of the steps – the only seat left – as Mulder packed my car with our suitcases. Mulder’s four by four was already on its way in a truck to our new home while the mustang was sold back to the dealership so it could be purchased by someone who wouldn’t be a father in three months. I know he missed it, but it wasn’t practical at this time in our lives. Not that anything about our lives was practical.  
“Just got off the phone with Skinner.” Mulder said walking into the house – his voice echoing due to the empty space – “He’ll meet us at the Barnside Diner off the Little River Turnpike. We should make it there in about thirty minutes depending on traffic.”  
Nodding my acceptance, I got up from the stairs and looked around the house, just taking it all in, “I haven’t seen this house this empty in over ten years.”  
“The family who bought it moves in tomorrow. We just have to drop the keys off at the realtor.”  
“You know what I mean.” I replied, quickly wiping away the tears that fell without warning, “This was our first home.”  
Mulder nodded as well and reached his hand out to me, “And it’s theirs now.”  
I wanted to take in the memories, Mulder wanted to forget everything. Taking his hand, I let him lead me out the door, down the stairs and to the car where he opened the passenger door and helped me in before closing the door and returning to the house to lock up. After returning to the car he quickly got into the driver’s seat and put the keys in the ignition. Everything about his actions made it look like he was fleeing a crime scene and at that moment I understood. Grabbing his right hand from the steering wheel I forced him to look at me. His eyes were wet, but he wasn’t crying. I moved my hand to his and interlocked our fingers, squeezing tightly.  
“I’m not going anywhere.” I said in defiant tone, “Not without you.”  
Mulder nodded and bit his lower lip, “I know…I know that now…but…”  
I shook my head and squeezed harder, “No buts. I know moving two thousand miles doesn’t change what happened, but it’s a fresh start we desperately need. All of us.”  
He smiled and nodded again, “Would you be offended if I handcuffed you to the car door?”  
“Yes, and you don’t have handcuffs anymore.”  
Letting go of me he put his hand on the gear shift and smirked, “That’s what you think.”  
The Waze estimate of thirty minutes was incorrect. Very incorrect. Nearly an hour after we left the realtor’s office, we arrived at the Barnside Diner. The hostess directing us to where the bald man with glasses sat in a booth in the back waiting for the rest of his party.  
“When you have a cane, they let you sit down before your party is complete.” He chuckled as we approached the booth, his eyes instantly going to what was causing my sleeveless black shirt to bellow “Wow.” He said in what seemed to be utter amazement.  
“I told you months ago.” I replied.  
“I know, but I thought I imagined it…” he replied  
“Me too.” Mulder replied before motioning for me to get into the booth before him, forgetting how often I needed to use the restroom. My eyes alone told him this and he simply nodded and quickly got into the booth and I did the same.  
“That’s new as well.” Skinner said looking at my left hand as I picked up the menu in front of me.  
Furrowing my brow, I turned to my husband, “You didn’t tell him?”  
“Guess it slipped my mind.” Mulder replied grabbing a menu as well.  
“And no invite?” Skinner sounded hurt and insulted.  
“No one was invited.” I added, “Simple ceremony in front of a judge two months ago. I don’t even remember the day.”  
“July 27th. Two fifteen pm.” Mulder replied looking over the menu.  
“Show off.” I replied wondering if I wanted anything other than pancakes ever again.  
“Well, you look happy.” Skinner replied taking in a deep sigh, “Even if it took this long to get there.”  
“Are you saying more people should retire, get married and have a baby in their mid to late fifties?” Mulder joked.  
“You two have always been the exception to every rule.” He replied picking up a menu.  
“How’s the physical therapy?” I asked needing to change the subject.  
“Painful.” Skinner replied, “Much harder when you’re in your sixties and I saw it as a sign to retire as well. Pretty sure Kersh is happy to never see any of us again.”  
“I’ve never seen him sign a document so fast in my life.” Mulder replied, “Well, except that time he fired me. I think it’s the first time I saw him smile.”  
“Luckily that didn’t affect your pension.” I replied, “Or mine.”  
“He’s not as bad as he comes off. I think in the end he wanted what was best for everyone, especially you.” He said looking directly at me, “Did you tell him about the pregnancy?”  
I shook my head. “No. It was still early enough. I really only wanted Mulder to know, but he let it slip to you at the hospital. I was just too scared to tell much of anyone really.”  
“Scared of what?” Skinner asked just as the waitress came to take our orders.  
After opting for Waffles – changing things up – with strawberries and whipped cream and a water I waited for Rachel to leave before answering Skinner’s question.  
“Scared of everything. I didn’t know what to think. If this was going to happen to me, why now? Why not so many years earlier when I was younger. Nothing made sense. I thought it was a mistake. After the blood test confirmed it I still didn’t believe it. After a week of taking other tests, and telling Mulder, and leaving the FBI and selling my condo…every day I just believed it wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true. I didn’t feel pregnant. Then I had my first ultrasound at eighteen weeks and I heard the heartbeat and I knew.”  
“How do you feel?” Skinner asked taking a sip of his iced tea.  
“Fine. I don’t feel pregnant, I mean I clearly look it, but I don’t have any of the issues I had before. I get scared something’s wrong and then she’ll move or kick and remind me that everything is ok…”  
“So, you know it’s a girl?”  
“It’s a girl.” Mulder said as Rachel returned bringing our two waters with lemon.  
“We don’t know for sure.” I said taking the lemon and squeezing the juice into my water glass, “He’s just assuming.”  
“I know.” He replied, “I know things.”  
“I will say, it’s much easier having him around this time. The move has been hard, and stressful, but once we’re settled in I’m sure everything will be fine.”  
Skinner nodded, “I’m glad.” He smiled, but I could tell something else was on his mind.  
“You didn’t just want to meet us for lunch to say goodbye…” I confronted him.  
“Not exactly…” he added, “But now..”  
“Now what?”  
“I don’t want to upset you. I didn’t remember that you were expecting.”  
“I’ve pretty much reached the point where I can handle anything regardless of my condition.” I replied picking up my water glass, “Anything.”  
“If this is about our pensions.” Mulder piped in, “I still have my inheritance. I used some for the house, but still have most earning a very nice interest rate so we’ll be ok.” He said taking my left hand as if that could protect me from any and all bad news.  
“No, your pensions are fine. Well, on the condition that you never step foot in the FBI ever again.”  
“No problem there.” Mulder replied.  
“As I assumed, but no…a body surfaced on the beach in Norfolk. It had been badly decomposed, but it had multiple gunshot wounds. They were able to do a DNA test and it came up with a match in the bureau.”  
“To whom…”I asked fearing the answer.  
“Mulder.” Skinner replied.  
I still felt ill, “Just...Mulder?”  
Skinner eyed me and nodded, “Yes. Why…who did you think it was?”  
I shook my head, “No one.”  
Mulder sighed, “It wasn’t him, Scully.”  
He finally called me Scully again.  
“How do you know?” I asked.  
“Because he only shot William once.” Mulder looked to Skinner, “Which is why I shot my father a lot more than that.”  
Silence fell over the table as we then realized Rachel was standing next to the booth with our meals, “Waffles?” she said her voice cracking a bit.  
I looked up and faked the best smile I could muster, “Video games.”  
Rachel nodded and placed the waffles in front of me, Mulder’s avocado sandwich and Skinner’s roast beef sandwich in front of them before walking away quickly.  
“Good save.” Mulder replied looking back at Skinner, “In short they found a body, matched it to me, it was my father and now he’s really dead and we can go on with our lives.”  
Skinner nodded, “Yes, but what were you saying about William?.”  
I picked at my whipped cream, “He’s gone.”  
“Oh.” Skinner replied, “I’m so sorry Dana.”  
Mulder continued to hold onto my left hand, now as if he needed the protection, “The fact his body hasn’t been found is a good thing. Remember that.”  
I nodded while taking a fresh cut strawberry off my waffle pile and popping it in my mouth. My appetite was all but gone, yet I still felt compelled to at least enjoy a tiny bit of fruit.  
“You didn’t tell him?” Skinner looked at me and then at Mulder. “About William…”  
“She told me.” Mulder replied in a tone between annoyed and angry “what you told her.”  
“And now I’ll tell you what I didn’t get a chance to tell you then. It’s a lie. All of it. Yes, I may not remember exactly what happened that night with…him…but I do know I think I’d feel something directly after given the circumstances. No drug is that strong. The fact you even believed him at all is what I find incredibly insulting” I said as my appetite began to return. Rapidly “and do you really think I wouldn’t have William’s DNA tested? Me!?” I shook my head as I began to cut into my waffle “it’s like you don’t even know me.”  
Stabbing a piece of the doughy goodness I shoved it in my mouth and started to chew angrily. The anger I had felt for months finally spilling out. That this man I had known for so many years would believe a psychotic’s ramblings. That he would question the paternity of my child. Yes, I had many questions on how William came to be, but that was one fact I knew from the moment I found out I was pregnant. I focused on my appetite; not the four eyes staring at me from across the table and the two right next to me.  
“I’m sorry, Dana.” Skinner finally broke the silence as I nearly finished my waffle in a matter of minutes.  
I nodded and swallowed, “If you thought in the end that’s why I gave him up, you’re mistaken.”  
Skinner shook his head, “I never questioned anything…but he sounded so convincing.”  
“That’s his gift.” I replied.  
“And he’s dead now so can we just move on?” Mulder picked up his sandwich and took a hard bite while sighing and looking out the window. What was supposed to be a pleasant farewell lunch turned into an airing of grievances followed by silence.  
After quickly grabbing the check once Rachel placed it on the table, Skinner paid for our meals and walked with us out to the car where the uncomfortable silence became too much.  
“This didn’t end like I wanted it to.” Skinner said looking at both of us and then the ground as he adjusted his weight on the cane. “I don’t want you two to drive away resenting me in some way.”  
“We don’t resent you…” Mulder nudged me, “It’s ok now. Everything is good now.” He nudged me again.  
I nodded and took his free hand, squeezing it a bit, “I said what I had to say. The slate is clear. There’s no bad blood or any other cliché I cannot think of at the moment.”  
He smiled a bit and nodded, “Well, you have a long drive and I don’t want to keep you.”  
We said our goodbyes, exchanged some gentle hugs and watched Skinner walk back to his car before getting into our own. I knew it really wasn’t the last time we would see him, but it felt like it.  
As we got into the car the events of the night before began to gnaw at me. Mulder’s “dream” and the fact that he seemed to be more than certain that William’s body wouldn’t turn up. I didn’t want to necessarily confront him, I just wanted to get going and say goodbye to everything here. But I had to know.  
I waited until we were on the interstate to say what was on my mind.  
“It wasn’t a dream.” I basically said to the windshield.  
“What are you talking about?” Mulder replied as he searched for a radio station that didn’t annoy him.  
“I thought it was a dream at first as well, when I first saw what he wanted me to see, but then the seizures started.”  
“What on earth are you talking about?” he replied shutting off the radio.  
“William.” I replied looking directly at him, “You said he came to you in a dream – but you met him. Told him you were his father and somehow he found a way to speak to you through your mind.”  
Mulder didn’t reply. He stayed silent and kept his eyes on the road ahead.  
“I’m right, aren’t I?” I continued to press him.  
“It was a dream.” He said with his attention still focused on the interstate.  
“That’s what he wanted you to think.” I then thought back to when he came to me previously, “Maybe I should drive.”  
“No.” Mulder quickly shot back, still looking at the road ahead, “If it is what you said it is, then he came to me for a reason. To prove his identity and that is all.”  
“I hope you’re right.”  
“I know I am. If he wanted to hurt me he would have made me implode like the others, but he didn’t. He just wanted to be left alone like you said.” He took his eyes off the road for a second to look at me, “We weren’t parents to him.” He said repeating my words from that fateful night.  
“I know what I said.” I replied, “And I know what I saw.” As much as I wanted to get the image of a bullet going into my husband’s forehead out of my brain, it was there. It would always be there. “After watching you pump six bullets into your own father I wasn’t sure what to say or do. I thought it would be easier, for you, if you didn’t believe William was your child.”  
“But now that you know he’s alive…” Mulder said before moving to the left lane due to the red Toyota Prius going much too slowly for his current mood.  
“I don’t know what to think.” I said before checking the speedometer which was clocking at a good seventy-two miles per hour. Maybe I shouldn’t have started this conversation while he was driving. I placed my hands on my belly and sighed deeply.  
Obviously sensing impending road rage, Mulder pulled onto the shoulder of I-270. “What are we doing here?”  
“I thought we were driving to Colorado.”  
“Two months earlier you told me the boy I believed to be my son wasn’t. That he was an idea; an experiment. That even though you carried him and birthed him, you were never a mother to him. What are you saying now?”  
As if on cue, the tears started. I just shook my head and let them fall. Tears I cried that night for myself were now for my son. Thinking that by denying his birthright, his identity, that I could let him go when I knew now that would and could never be the case. All I wanted to do was protect him, protect Mulder and protect my unborn child. Now, all I wanted to do was hold him and tell him I loved him. Maybe it would have been better if he was dead; and I hated myself even more for letting that thought enter my mind.  
Mulder turned off the ignition “We need to be in Lexington tonight. So, let’s make a deal. If he comes to either one of us – in a dream or whatever other form he may take – we will turn around and go to Norfolk and do whatever we can to find him. To make sure he’s ok. If he doesn’t, then it’s clear he wants to be left alone and we *as his parents* need to respect that. He’s seventeen and can clearly handle himself, but I believe if he needs us in any way he will let us know. Somehow.”  
Unable to speak I simply nodded and kept my hands on my belly as the tears streamed my face. Mulder turned on the ignition and merged back onto the interstate.

Move forward. That’s what he wanted us to do.  
We arrived in Lexington after nine. The only choices for dinner were the usual fast food fare and even though I really didn’t have much of an appetite I got a large Styrofoam bowl of mashed potatoes without gravy from KFC as Mulder picked at a biscuit to go with his green beans.  
“I know you want us to BOTH eat better.” I replied drowning the instant potatoes in liquid butter, “But the options are limited when you drive across the country.”  
“I’m good with this.” He replied, “Your last checkup was fine.”  
“I have the body of a thirty-year-old.” I smirked, “And you blood pressure was a bit high.”  
He nodded, “I’m hoping mountain living will change that.” He replied while fighting to keep a bean on his spork. “I have a lot of books I’d like to read.”  
“Do you have anything else on the horizon?” I couldn’t help but think back to how he got when he didn’t have a job to go to every day.  
“I’m not going to go crazy.” He was clearly reading my mind, “I looked at getting into teaching, but sadly the nearest college is fifty miles away from our home and I don’t really want that kind of commute.”  
“Maybe we should have investigated more when it came to finding a new place to live.”  
He shook his head and took a bite of biscuit, “No. I’ll think of something to do. I saw that house and I knew it was right.”  
All I could do was nod and eat my butter flavored starch, “We’ll be pretty busy anyway.”  
He smiled, “I can’t wait.”  
I missed baths. Even though you can take them while pregnant, it’s recommended that the bath water not be too hot and given I didn’t want to risk anything I had spent the last two months taking very luke warm showers. Which were great in the summer, but as we approached the end of September I very much missed the feeling of relaxing in a hot tub with lots of heavenly scented bubbles.  
She was due December 15th. That was a very rough estimate based on her size and development and even though I didn’t exactly know the gender, I went with my gut and Mulder’s gut and went with saying she and her instead of it. I had an appointment with a new OBGYN on October 3rd where I would then have the gender confirmed. The doctor’s name was Jessica Harper and even though we had only talked on the phone she was extremely nice and non-judgmental given my special situation. Pretty soon I would have to start seeing her on a weekly basis and she already made space for me up to my due date which put me at ease. Sometimes after my non-relaxing showers I would just stand in front of the mirror and stare at myself. Not out of vanity, not out of amazement that at my advanced age I was still able to naturally create a child, but of sheer gratefulness that God and my own body gave me a second chance at being a mother.  
After putting on my flannel pajamas and brushing my teeth I exited the bathroom to find Mulder sound asleep with an infomercial for hair restoration on the tv. Taking the remote I turned off the annoyance and just looked at him as he lay on the bed, his head propped up on two pillows, his mouth a gap and still in his button downed red and black striped shirt and jeans. At least he got his shoes off before passing out. It had been a long day so I couldn’t fault him, but I did find myself just standing there watching his chest move up and down and cursing the fact I was pregnant and he was asleep  
“We’ll think of something.”  
The words left my lips as I looked up at the man lying next to me waiting for a response. Nothing. I bit my lip and continued to look up at him as he looked down at me. Had it been so long he was unware of the signs? The seriously obvious invitation I was giving him? Maybe he didn’t want to presume. He knew I was scared, he knew I was upset about getting older, but didn’t he know in this moment how much I needed him?  
Realizing I had to be the initiator I sat up, our eyes within inches of each other. I placed my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating rapidly under the grey tank top. He then placed his hand on top of mine before pushing his fingers between mine and my fingers closing over his. No words needing to be spoken I gently placed my lips on his, the salty familiarly instantly rushing through me as his lips parted and the kiss deepened, my hands now pushing him onto his back as I positioned myself above him. My knees on either side of his hips as my mouth, mind and body melted into familiar territory. Parting from him for just a moment I began to unbutton my top, his eyes focused on the act until the very last button when I pulled the clothing off and tossed it across the room. My lips returned to his as I began the more complicated act of removing the pajama bottoms. His hands gripped my waist as I pulled the intrusive satin off – nearly ripping them in the process. For a split second the fact that I was doing this, that there was no going back there was no way he could see this as a one-time just sex thing did come over me. I could stop now, tell him it was a mistake and run back to my bed in shame, but I also knew I couldn’t. I *needed* him. I had always needed him. It could never just be about sex with us. It never was. I just didn’t want to hurt him. Again.  
He didn’t say anything. His hands still gripped to my waist, his eyes on my face as I straddled him naked and confused. Honestly it would have been better if he wasn’t looking at me and if the moon didn’t make it so bright in here. He wasn’t going to force anything. I knew that. I also found myself terrified to open a door I wasn’t exactly ready go to through. Again  
Then a tiny voice popped into my head.  
Fuck it.  
Placing my hands on his neck, my lips returned to his as his hands moved to my ass, his nails digging into my flesh causing me to moan in a way I hadn’t in so very long. His hands then moved under me, doing his best to rip off his own clothing barriers until I felt what I wanted so badly pressing against my delicate skin. Forgetting everything else and focusing on those two little words and my own selfish needs I took hold of him and ran my fingers up and down the hard shaft as I sat up looking down at him as my nails gently tickled the sensitive skin. It had been some time. Years, sadly, but I knew what he liked. It didn’t take long for everything to flow back and as much as I needed this, more than anything I wanted to be desired and as I slowly drew him inside of me and watched his eyes close as his hands moved back to my waist I knew that had been achieved. My own eyes closed as I began to move, my hands moving under his shirt as I ran my fingers over and between his firm nipples. As my body adjusted to him, all of him, my pace began to quicken, his hands moving again to my behind and gripping my skin  
as my heart raced and my breathing deepened. As I felt his body stiffen and his grip on my skin tighten, my back arched as I grabbed hold of the sheets and pulled at the fabric as my own release came over me; my own screams of pleasure muting his as I waited for the sensations to stop and let my exhausted body fall on top of his.  
“Dana?”  
A voice called out and I opened my eyes to see Mulder looking down at me. I blinked until he came into full focus…  
“Hi…” I replied licking my very dry lips.  
“You were moaning…” he said, “Loudly.”  
Sitting up I took in my surroundings, a hotel room, and my very swollen abdomen underneath the grey flannel pajamas. I had to chuckle at myself, “Well…” I said placing my hands on the belly, “I guess my mind just wanted to remember how this happened.”  
“I hope I was there…” he replied.  
Narrowing my eyes at him I simply shook my head, “Shut up.”  
“Was that your only dream?” he asked returning to the previous day’s subject.  
I nodded, “Yes.” I then looked up at him, “And you?”  
“I had a dream a bear was chasing me up a mountain.” He said shrugging, “I already ordered room service and showered so we can get going as early as possible. I wanted to let you sleep…so you could…finish.”  
He was not going to embarrass me, “Shut up.” I said again before getting out of the bed and walking to my suitcase and pulling out a lavender sundress, “I hope you ordered pancakes.”  
He nodded, “Of course.” He said smiling, “You know… you don’t have to just dream…”  
It wasn’t the first time he had brought it up, and even though I knew it was perfectly safe I didn’t want to risk anything so I just replied with the same answer I had since he first brought it up, “See you in 2019.”  
When I was a kid, most road trips were based around wherever my father was transferred and endless hours in the backseat of my parents’ station wagon sandwiched between Melissa and Bill while Charlie got to sit in the front with my parents. I would try to read and Bill constantly took off his shoes just to disgust us with the smell. Once we settled in Maryland, I didn’t really travel given I was so focused on my studies. While friends were backpacking in Europe, I was writing my thesis. All I cared about was being a doctor. All I cared about was saving other peoples lives, not about creating one of my own. Aside from some college flings I would come to forget, my life was pretty boring and I thought it always would be. If I had never agreed to come join the FBI, where would life had taken me?  
“You’ve been quiet for over twenty minutes.” Mulder shook me out of my memory lane daze.

“Just thinking.” I replied sighing and wondering how long the last bottle of water would hold. The record was thirty minutes and we were nearing that.  
“Well, can you think out loud? Indiana is pretty damn boring and there’s nothing on any of the radio stations I can listen to without my ears bleeding.”  
We had already been driving for five hours and we had gotten to the point in our relationship where we didn’t have to constantly speak. When you’ve known someone for over twenty-five years you’ve basically covered all topics. “Why don’t you hook up your phone to the Bluetooth.”  
“That doesn’t work anymore. Seriously, what we were you thinking about?”  
“Life. My life.”  
“I may know a bit about the subject.”  
“Do you ever think about what life would be like if we never met?  
He shook his head, “Nope. Every scenario you’re there.” I sighed and placed my left hand on his thigh, which he then took with his own hand and slightly squeezed, “I guess you can’t say the same.”  
“More like wondering what my life would be life if I hadn’t met you, not that it’s anything I would have wanted to happen…I just wonder. When you’re fifty-four and six months pregnant and timing how long your bladder will withstand, your mind tends to drift off.”  
“I get that.” He sighed, loudly, “So where do you think you would be if you never walked into my office?  
“I said I wonder…I never said that my mind actually focuses on any one scenario.”  
“But you’re ok with your life?”  
I pushed into his thigh with the hand he was still holding, “Of course I am, but for now I hate to say I’m not going to make the thirty-minute record.”  
He smiled and nodded, “There’s a gas station a mile ahead.”  
After a good ten hours on the road we stopped in Springfield, Missouri at a Hilton where we didn’t have reservations, but were able to get a room for the night anyway. I had forgotten that some people will go out of their way for a pregnant woman in need. The bed was soft and the air conditioner cool and my stomach grumbled for anything full of fat.  
“Pizza ordered.” Mulder replied before falling backwards onto the king-sized bed next to me. “No meat though.”  
I nodded and turned my head to look at him, “Three more months. Then I’ll enjoy all the kale with you.”  
Smiling he leaned over and kissed me on the lips. It had been so long I didn’t expect it. We had refrained because of what it generally led to and in that two second kiss it felt like fire ants had taken over my body – which seemed to forget there was a child already growing in it. I bit my lower lip, hard, and just stared at him. It was safe….the doctors said it was perfectly natural and I was now at twenty-four weeks so if anything did happen she would be completely viable. But did I really want to risk it just because I was highly…charged?  
“Sorry…I hadn’t done it in so long...I just…” Mulder replied like a kid who had spilled paint on the new rug.  
I had to laugh at his reaction which took me completely out of the insanely turned on situation I had been in, “It’s ok.” I replied still in mid giggle bracing myself on my arms to get into a sitting position, “We’ll survive.”  
“It’s almost funny.” He replied sitting up as well, “It you think about it. We had been apart for years, and in one night of sadness, boredom, fear of the future…this happens. Maybe it was for a reason.”  
“I believe so.” I placed my hands on my abdomen hoping for a kick and receiving none. “I guess she’s sleeping.”  
“Good. It’s past her bedtime.”  
We had eight hundred and fifty miles to go. Estimating fourteen hours of driving. Even though the movers wouldn’t be there for two days, Mulder was determined to make it in one day. I told him he was stupid, he replied ‘I know’. I told him we had two days and he said he wanted to be home. There was that time he drove nearly twenty-four hours straight and I told him he was stupid then as well. But he did it. That was also sixteen years ago.  
We left before dawn. He picked up coffee and Red Bull at the 7-11. I decided to lay off so much water and got a box of raisins and some granola to keep me full. By nine am we were on US-400W for the next three hundred miles which was basically the entire length of Kansas.  
We brought up old cases. Ones that didn’t leave bad tastes in our mouths. Wondering what happened to those we had interacted with in the last twenty-five years. Amy Jacobs, the little girl kidnapped from her room by a serial killer. She’d be in her thirties now. Kevin Kryder, the young boy who was believed to be Christ’s child. The last we had heard his father had been released from the mental hospital and regained custody of his son. I kept tabs on him for as long as I could, until they moved to Canada in 2000 and I lost track. There were others we wondered about out loud, and those we didn’t need to ever remember. At least now I was at a point where I could look at my career with the FBI and not be completely disgusted with everything. Sure, we were used and manipulated and looked at as a joke, but in the end, we did a lot of good for a lot of people and I was ok with that being my legacy with the bureau. Even if they still called me Mrs. Spooky.  
By noon we had gone almost two hundred more miles and needed gas and I needed something more than raisins and granola. The gas station pickings were slim and I didn’t trust the tuna fish sandwich they were selling in the not very cool cooler. While perusing the questionable fruit I received a firm kick that made me step back a bit. William never kicked like this. Sadly, I didn't recall him moving much until the last month, but this little one wanted me to know she was awake and was done with raisins.  
Rushing out to the car without purchasing anything, I caught Mulder locking the gas cap and grabbed his left free hand placing it right where she had just made her presence known. His right hand still on the cap he kept his palm firm against my belly as I placed my hands over his…waiting. There was another car waiting for the pump and the young male driver honked the horn, but I didn’t care. I needed him to feel this.  
“Come on, lady!” The jackass in the KIA screamed out his window.  
“We’ll leave when we’re damn ready to!” I screamed back at him and not a second later she did it causing the cap to fall out of Mulder’s hand.  
“Wow…” was all he could say as I beamed a smile so big I thought my face would crack in half. He had felt little kicks before, but this girl was sending me a message today. “Surprised she’s still in there.” He said grabbing the cap and quickly locking it up before walking me to the passenger side.  
“I know you want to get going, but I could really use a burger.” I basically whined. I had every right to.  
Mulder nodded, “There’s a Wendy’s down the road. After that, she deserves a reward.”  
With an extra value meal fully devoured we were back on the road to our new home. Both of us clearly sick of being in the car and Mulder not wanting to waste one more minute in a hotel room – forgetting that our furniture wouldn’t be there for two days.  
But I wasn’t going to kill his momentum.  
By eight pm we had driven over seven hundred miles and while filling up at Shell in Parker, Colorado I caught Mulder’s eyes closing while he was filling up the tank.  
“No.” I said taking the pump from him and pushing him towards the drivers’ side of the car, “We’re staying here. There’s a Holiday Inn across the interstate and if they have rooms we are staying there for the night. We’re only a few hours away…but I’m not risking all of our lives with you behind the wheel anymore.”  
He didn’t object. The pump clicked and I pulled it out and he took the hose from me and retuned it to the pump, “I get it. I just wanted to get home, but tomorrow will do.”

“Good. Do you need me to drive?”

“No.” he yawned, “I can make it another mile or so.”

“I don’t know why you’re so insistent on getting there now anyway.” I said getting into the car and putting on my seatbelt, “Our furniture won’t be there for two days.”  
Mulder got in the driver’s side and closed the door, “You know that Wesling bedroom set you saw in that catalog a couple months ago and just couldn’t stop staring at.” He said buckling his seat belt.  
“Yeah…”  
He pulled out his phone and after scrolling through some things he handed it to me, “It’s waiting for you.”  
The picture was of the master bedroom of our new home with a beautiful king-sized bed with a grey comforter and more grey, black and white pillows than anyone could ever comfortably need. Next to the bed were two matching nightstands, and on the right side of the bed a large eight drawer dresser with an equally large mirror attached.  
“You bought the entire set.”  
“Even down to the rugs.” He smirked, “Happy Belated Birthday or Early Christmas.”  
I shook my head and sniffed back the tears while handing the phone back to him, “When did you do this?”  
“Paid the realtor extra to get it set up the day we left. Given the commission she was happy to do it.”  
“Now I have to think of an equally impressive gift for your birthday and Christmas.”  
“You already did.” He smiled and looked down and what was protected under a nylon belt.  
“I guess so.” I smiled back and sighed. “But seriously, Holiday Inn. Now.”  
“Yes, Ma’am”  
July 4th, 2002  
I had heard many things about the summers in Texas. That one time in Dallas left quite the impression, but as the temperature neared 115 with humidity at 89% and I lay naked on the questionable bedspread at the Save Harbor Inn digging into a pint of Cherry Garcia I began to wonder if the human body could actually melt.  
“What happened to your tattoo?” The equally miserable and equally naked man sitting next to me asked.  
Propped up on my forearms and swallowing what I swore, again, would be my last spoonful I turned my head to look at him, “Huh?”  
Placing his fingers below my tailbone – a touch that would usually send shockwaves through my body if not for the fact my body felt as if it was already on fire – I quickly remembered what he was referring to, “I got it removed maybe a month after getting it. If that. With everything else I was already going through I didn’t want to risk ergot poisoning as well.” I said taking the lid to the ice cream and slamming it on the cardboard bowl as a way to tell myself no more. “Surprised this is the first you’ve noticed it’s not there.”  
“Guess I’ve been distracted by other parts of your body.” He replied placing his Phish Food on the nightstand, “Did you finish it?” he asked as I handed him the half-eaten pint.  
“No.” I replied sitting up and sitting next to him, my back practically slamming against the cheap motel headboard, “You think it’s possible the fill the bathtub with ice from the ice machine?” I asked.  
Mulder chuckled and shook his head, “Not worth the chance.”  
I sighed and shifted closer to him, regardless of the heat, “More reasons we should have gone to Canada.” I said placing my head on his left shoulder.  
“I’m sure the heat will die down soon. Figuratively and literally. If we stay off the radar long enough we should be able to settle back into society.”  
“No longer be Mr. and Mrs. Smith?” I replied referring to identities we had been given when we were undercover only a few years earlier and just forgot to give the identification back to the bureau.  
“No longer only drive in the dark of night and hide in hot motel rooms that accept cash only and don’t have working AC.”  
“Get a nice house in the middle of nowhere and maybe get a dog and a cat.”  
“Get nice normal jobs that have nothing to do with alien invasions and government conspiracies.”  
“Have a couple of kids…” Mulder stopped and I felt him clear his throat. “Scratch that.”  
I sighed and removed my head from his shoulder, “Why did you say that?”  
“Because it’s hot and I’m clearly prone to say stupid things.”  
“It wasn’t stupid. You clearly said it for a reason.”  
Mulder shrugged, “We could always adopt.”  
“That’s not what you meant.”  
“I forgot ok?” he said looking directly at me, “For a split second I just…forgot…”  
“That it’s really not in the cards for us.”  
“But I can’t help but think about it given you have now actually given birth.”  
“But we still don’t even know how I got pregnant in the first place.”  
“Did they not teach you that in catholic school?”  
“I’m serious. I still to this day don’t understand how I actually conceived a child. Given everything I was told about how I’d never conceive and the with the invitro failing, how such a miracle came to be…” I shook my head, “If it happened again, now, maybe then I’d know why… and how…”  
“And if it did, given the circumstances we now find ourselves in…you’d be ok with that.”  
“Of course, I would. Regardless of when it happened I would consider it a blessing. It would answer so many unanswered questions.” He was still just… staring at me, “Would you be ok with that?”  
Not even hesitating he nodded, “Of course I would. It might actually get me to believe in a higher power.”  
I smiled and placed my hand on his warm thigh, “Well, it’s not like we have anything else to do.”

September 14, 2018  
The Holiday Inn provided free breakfast and after three waffles we were back in the car for the final leg of our journey south. As the hours passed and the pit stops shortened, I didn’t realize I had fallen asleep until I woke up in front of a red gate.  
“We’re home.” Mulder looked over at me and smiled.  
Blinking rapidly as I took in my surroundings I realized instantly why he chose this house based on the listing alone. Trees everywhere and complete silence. I watched him as he grabbed his phone and searched for something before rolling down the window and entering a series of numbers into the keypad before looking ahead and watching the gates open in a welcoming like gesture. Mulder slowly drove the car up the private one lane drive and I kept my eyes straight ahead as we reached the top of the road where a large home greeted us. I audibly gasped at the beauty of the stark wood structure with so many windows I feared one crack would shatter the entire home. 

Mulder pulled the car in front of the detached four car garage and turned off the engine before leaning back against the seat of the car and sighing loudly. “If I never drive again it will be too soon.”  
My eyes were focused on him and the house behind him, “This is really ours…”  
He nodded and smiled, “If it isn’t I got taken for a few million.”  
“It’s not about the money.” I said knowing he would never tell me exactly how much money he had just that we would always be ok.  
“Sometimes it is.” He replied unsnapping his seatbelt then pulling the keys out of the ignition before opening the driver’s side door, “The inside is better.”  
Even though we had done a few virtual tours before the sale was final, seeing it in person was a lot to take in. There were two front doors and after Mulder unlocked one – the keys thankfully worked – he unclasped the second and pushed them both open in one swift motion.  
Before I could step forward he took my left hand and held me back, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” He said before moving his arm around my back, taking hold of the right side of my waist and scooping me up into his arms without even wincing.  
Wrapping my arms around his neck I found myself beaming as he carried me into our new home then gently placed me back on my feet.  
“In all honesty…” I said adjusting my green sleeveless dress, “You did that at the old house.”  
“It’s different now.” He said closing the doors, “It’s perfect.”

December 24, 2018  
I sat on the window seat in the living room of my home and watched the snow fall on the trees. I drank a nice cup of chamomile tea looked down at my extremely large belly and cursed the universe that I was still pregnant.  
Melissa Margaret Mulder was already fourteen days late. On December 15th I went to my doctor who informed me this was perfectly normal and due dates are more or less just guesses.  
On December 20th I called my doctor who repeated what she had said five days earlier and that when she was ready to come out she would.  
On December 22nd Dr. Harper said she was going to California for Christmas but would jump on a plane if I went into labor before she returned on the 26th.  
Melissa’s room was completed and ready before Thanksgiving.  
Assuming I would have a child to introduce to my brother, we had invited Bill and his son Matthew to our home for the holidays. Their flight got in by noon on December 23rd where we then drove the hour to Durango airport and back to our home the entire time wondering if my child would make her arrival. Mulder wouldn’t let me out of his sight given the current situation, but by now I was agitated and sick of his mother Henning and sent him off to play video games in the basement with his almost 21-year-old nephew. Matthew would be celebrating that big day in Vegas with his college friends, for now I could hear both of them screaming at the 90-inch tv like little boys as they killed virtual zombies.  
“Still nothing?” my older brother said walking into the living room and sitting down at the end of the window seat next to my swollen feet which hardly even fit in my slippers.  
I shook my head, “She moves from time to time. But not enough.”  
“Tara was a week late.”  
“I remember.” I replied taking another sip of tea.  
“Maybe it’s something with winter babies. They don’t want to come out to the cold.” He said laughing at his own joke, “But seriously, are you ok?”  
I nodded, “I’m fine.”  
Bill looked around the house, the lack of many walls giving it a very open feel, “Did I tell you how nice this place is?”  
“About ten times.” I replied in a more sarcastic tone than I intended. Two weeks late. I had a reason to be cranky. “Sorry, I’m just..”  
“Pregnant?” He gave an actual smile, “I’m happy for you, Dana. I really am.”  
“No more preaching?”  
“No. Once I saw you I realized this happened to you for a reason. You know that’s what mom would say and I have to respect that…and you. Clearly age isn’t always a factor.”  
“My doctor didn’t even believe my age.” I couldn’t help by snicker at the memory, “She said she would guess early forties if I hadn’t told her.”  
“And the baby is fine?”  
“Every test possible. We even got one of those very creepy 3D ultrasounds. Decided to wait till her thirteenth birthday to embarrass her with that one.”  
“Planning that far in advance.”  
“It’s what I do.”  
I could sense he was going to add to that discussion, but thankfully dropped it and turned his eyes to the large Christmas tree ten feet away next to the two identical white suede couches and covered in lights, ornaments and tinsel including the essentially useless Baby’s First Christmas cherub, “You really went all out.”  
“Mulder did.” I replied, “From the moment we moved in he’s done everything. The cooking, the cleaning, the decorating while I just sat on my fat ass and watched.”  
“I hate to bring this up…” he started.  
“Then don’t.” I attempted to stop.  
“You’re fifty-four.”  
I rolled my eyes, “Almost fifty-five if you want to get into it.”  
“Do you have a will? Beneficiaries? A plan for her if something happens to you? Both of you?”  
“Of course, we do.”  
“A guardian?”  
No. We didn’t. I didn’t respond and Bill knew why I didn’t.  
He shook his head and sighed, “I’m too old to raise a child.”  
“I’m not asking you to.” I replied defensively, “Mulder has a younger half-brother…but why would you make me even think about this now when I’m already frustrated and upset that she’s two weeks late?”  
“I’m not trying to upset you, I’m just asking that you realize the scope of having a child at your advanced age.”  
I shook my head and sipped my tea, “Just stop it.” I took a deep breath and winced at the latest movement of the child who didn’t want to be on time.  
“Dad?” thankfully Matthew had come upstairs and distracted his father from his current lecture.  
Bill turned to see his adult son standing by the dining room table, “Uncle Fox asked if you wanted to join us for a game of poker. He also said I could have a beer if it’s ok with you.”  
Bill nodded, “Sure.” He said standing up from the bench, but not before turning and looking down at me, “Just think about what I said.”  
I nodded  
It was currently all I could think about.

Christmas Eve dinner consisted of spinach lasagna, a green salad and eclairs for dinner. Mulder was trying out new recipes and I was down for anything with chocolate, which went very well with yet another cup of chamomile tea as the three men bonded over craft beer. I retired early and let everyone know I would see them in the morning, but I awoke only a few hours later after some more shifting in my uterus and my eventual death on my mind. I got out of the nice warm bed, and the man heavily breathing next to me, and wandered to the nursery – which had been ready for over a month. The walls a soft eggshell white, with a boarder of teddy bears in various dancing attire. The dresser full of clothes for a newborn girl, changing table fully stocked with diapers and wipes I feared had already dried up. Between the two windows a bookcase lined with dolls that once belonged to my mother and my sister. In the center of a room a canopy soft pink crib, with matching liner and blankets and in the crib sat the teddy bear I came home from the hospital with. Little items I didn’t know my mother held onto until after her passing had been taken out of their boxes to be loved by another generation. Taking hold of the edge of the crib I just looked down at the bear and realized how lonely he looked.  
“Everything ok?” a tired, yet a bit slurring, voice said behind me.  
I nodded and felt him approach me, then stand next to me next to the empty crib. “You think if I wish hard enough she’ll just be in there? Sleeping soundly?”  
“She will be when she’s ready.” Mulder replied placing his hand on the small of my back.  
“You sound like my doctor.” I sighed, then instantly remembered my earlier big brother lecture, “When did you last update your will?”  
Mulder’s eyebrows raised and after a yawn he shook his head, “When you were still pregnant with William.”  
“That’s what I was afraid of.”  
“You still get everything.” He said sounding very insulted.  
“That’s not what I’m concerned with.” I said placing my right hand on the giant basketball under my grey nightgown, “What about her?”  
“Are you planning to knock me off before she gets here?”  
I was not in the mood for his definition of humor tonight, “What if something happens to us? BOTH of us? Our parents are gone, Bill is sixty and not interested in being the guardian for a child. There’s Jeffrey, but he’s too fragile to deal with being a parent.”  
“Why are you bringing this up!”  
“Because it’s important! I don’t want to leave her abandoned if something happens to us.”  
“I thought you were immortal?”  
He was very close to getting slapped, “You know I don’t honestly believe that.”  
He shrugged, “Even if we were thirty years younger, that doesn’t guarantee anything. Even though I learned tonight, painfully, that two beers are very much my limit, I’m in great shape. As are you. I don’t know what that means for longevity, but I don’t plan on checking out any time soon and I’m pretty sure we’re on the same page.”  
“But we need a plan for her.”  
“And we will make one.” He said placing his hands on my very swollen belly, “She just has to get here first.”  
I forced a smile and nodded. “As long as we are on the same page.”  
He smiled as well and leaned over to softly kiss me on the lips, letting me know that he didn’t brush his teeth enough earlier, “Nice Scope and hops taste there.” I said licking my lips and instantly regretting it.  
“Sorry.” He replied, “I’ll take another go at it.”  
“Please.”  
I followed him into the master bathroom, which was twice the size of our last one complete with jacuzzi tub that could fit two people, which the old owners had put in before putting the house on the market to make the place more appealing. There were three other bathrooms, but this was mine. Feeling like I had to relieve myself, I sat down on the toilet as Mulder stood before the vanity and put toothpaste on his sonic care toothbrush. He looked up in the mirror just as he positioned the electric toothbrush in front of his teeth and saw me looking at him from his right.  
“Do you need to be alone?” he asked my reflection.  
“No.” I replied feeling the pressure, but being unable to go, “Just ignore me.”  
Nodding, he turned the toothbrush on and began to brush his teeth when the pressure turned a bit painful then a rush of liquid pushed out of me and after the relief I realized what exactly had happened.  
“Mulder…”I was able to get out before the first stabbing pain hit, but I wasn’t loud enough and felt paralyzed in place. After that pain had passed I said his name again, my hands moving to my abdomen like metal being drawn to a magnet. I couldn’t move as another contraction came over me I cried out in pain as I kept my eyes focused on the back of my husband’s head.  
The cry caused him to turn, and apparently my pain was visibly obvious because his eyes grew large and he dropped the toothbrush out of his hand to come rush to me.  
“What is it?” he asked stupidly as I dug my nails into the cotton fabric until they hit the skin of my expanded stomach.  
His eyes grew larger and he kneeled down eye to eye with me as I forced them to stay open, “Now?  
I nodded and held my breath, then let it out, “Call my doctor.” I got out before another one hit and all I wanted to do was pass out.  
Almost tripping over the still spinning toothbrush, which was now what I focused on as it felt like my body was getting ripped in half, Mulder ran out of the room and was back with my phone in his hands, “Harper, right?” He asked.  
All I could do was nod and dig my nails in deeper.  
“It’s after one…”  
“JUST CALL HER!” I screamed as another wave of pain shot through my body.  
After far too many rings, a groggy voice picked up, “Hello?”  
“Doctor Harper, this is Fox Mulder, I believe my wife is in labor…”  
“Mulder…” her voice drifted off for a second, too many seconds, and I started to feel more than just the shockwaves of pain.  
“SHE’S COMING NOW!” I cried out as the tears fell down my face. I was not giving birth on a toilet, but I was also not in a condition to move either. I didn’t know what to do and my dear husband was apparently useless.  
“Dana!” the voice on the phone called out, “Where are you?”  
“In the bathroom.” Mulder replied, “On the toilet.”  
“Don’t tell her that!” I screamed.  
“It’s ok, Dana.” Her voice was calm which was what I needed, “I can get on a plane and back there in a couple of hours. How far apart are the contractions?”  
I shook my head.  
“She’s shaking her head.”  
“Time them.”  
“I can’t.” I pleaded.  
“Fox, you need to let me know how far apart the contractions are. I’m running out the door now, but I need to now how far along she is.”  
I looked at him and shook my head again, the tears soaking my nightgown.  
“Doctor Harper…” he said very calmly, “I don’t think we have a couple of hours.”  
I closed my eyes and gripped my belly, she was ready….I knew the second I was moved she’d be out.  
“Shit.” She replied through the speakerphone, “You said you’re in the bathroom?”  
“Yes.” Mulder stayed calm. Calmer than I expected.  
“Is there a bathtub?”  
“Yes.”  
“Could it comfortably fit two people?”  
“Yes.” He started to sound robotic, but he had this, and I kept my legs closed as the pain raced through my body compelling me to open them.  
“Fox, you understand why I’m asking this.”  
“I’m afraid so.” He said biting his lip and looking at the tub and nodding at me as he stood up gripping the phone.  
“Fill the tub halfway with luke warm water. We don’t want it to be too hot, but we don’t want it to be too cold as to cause her a shock. Do you have plenty of towels?”  
“Yes.”  
“Good. My husband called an ambulance and gave them your address but given what you’ve told me this little one doesn’t want to wait…she knows how late she already is.”  
I appreciated the attempt at humor, but I also wished I was in a hospital with a nice epidural.  
Mulder placed my phone on the shelf above me and grabbed a handful of my new towels. I winced as he placed them on the tile next to the tub as he leaned over and started the water while sitting on the edge of the tub.  
“My husband is a pilot and we are on our way to our plane now.”  
Mulder rolled his eyes at me and I attempted to do the same, but even the distraction wasn’t distracting enough right now.  
“This wasn’t what you had planned was it?” he said softly looking at me.  
I let out a cry/laugh as the pain seemed to have stopped for the time being, “No.”  
“Is the tub ready?” the voice on the phone called out.  
Mulder turned his attention back to the tub and turned off the faucet. “Yes.”  
He stood up and took the phone from the shelf and placed it on the floor next to the towels.  
“I need you to get Dana into the tub.”  
“Can you move?” he asked me.  
I shook my head, “No.”  
Nodding he leaned over and put one arm around my back and another behind my calves and in one swift motion lifted me up off the toilet and into his arms as my hands stayed gripped to my child…or where she once was.  
Without saying anything he walked over to the tub and stepped in, still fully dressed he gently placed me in the warm water, my legs still refusing to part.  
“We’re in.” he said placing his hands on my knees and looking straight at me looking calmer than I had ever seen him before.  
“Good. Now I need you to see how far along she is. You may have to reach in and feel the cervix to see how dilated she is.”  
I closed my eyes and let the tears fall. I had known this man for over twenty-five years, he had seen me at my best and my worst, but this was the most embarrassing situation I had ever found myself in and all I could do was cry. The pain was nothing compared to this.  
“Honey, you’re going to have to unlock your legs.”  
He never honeyed me, well, rarely, but I didn’t want this. “Can’t I just keep her in until the ambulance comes?” I cried out.  
“No Dana.” The voice on the phone yelled back. “You’re a doctor. You said yourself when she’s ready to come she will. Well, she’s ready. You’ve done this before.”  
But not with the father of my child seeing where that child comes out of, “But not like this”  
“This isn’t a time to be bashful, Dana, he’s the only person who can do this now.”  
“You need to let me do this.” Mulder pleaded with his hands on my knees, “Please.”  
Biting my lower lip, I nodded and closed my eyes, relaxing my muscles and letting him “unlock” my legs.  
The pain returned along with the pressure and I winced as the room grew silent.  
“Fox?” Dr. Harper called out, “What’s going on?”  
“Um…” he stammered and my eyes bolted open to see him just staring down at me, “I see a head.”  
“Well, no need to check how far along she is. Looks like this is happening. Dana, you know what to do here.”  
I nodded and found myself in a strange kind of trance. I removed my hands from my stomach and placed them and gripped both sides of the tub, my eyes locked with Mulder’s and he nodded. I then closed my eyes and pushed, hard, I opened my eyes back up to see Mulder’s face like a deer in headlights.  
“Mulder….” I said in a very calm manner, “You can do this.”  
He nodded and moved closer between my legs, “She’s coming.”  
Keeping my eyes locked oh his face I pushed again, pain shot through my back and legs, but I didn’t cry, I was focused.  
“Again.” He said as I watched his arms move further under my legs as he seemed to take hold of something.  
I pushed again, harder.  
“Wait!” he said.  
“What!?” I cried back.  
He looked confused, and I didn’t feel anything anymore. No pain. No pressure. “Mulder!” I screamed as I watched his eyes blink rapidly as he looked down at something and tears began to fall down his cheeks.  
“Say something!” I screamed as my own tears started.  
And not a second later the cries of a newborn took over the room. Mulder looked up at me while raising himself on his knees and in his arms was a wet, red and crying baby girl.  
“Everyone ok in there?” Dr. Harper jumped in as Mulder handed her to me.  
“Yes.” Mulder said, “But what about the cord?”  
“The ambulance is a mile away. Don’t do anything else. We’ll take care of that at the hospital, just use the towels to keep her warm.”  
Her little red hands were balled up in fists as the cries continued. Mulder placed a thick towel over her and my arms as we stayed in the tub in utter amazement about what just happened.  
“Dana?” I heard my brother’s voice from outside the bathroom, completely forgetting we actually had guests.  
“Come in.” I said laughing a little as my older brother slowly peered his head behind the bathroom door to look at me, “Are you decent?”  
“Yes!” I laughed, “Come in already.”  
He passed the door and looked down at all of us in the tub, “You all can’t do anything normal can you?”  
“Nope.” Mulder replied, “Can you do us a favor and watch the front gate. The ambulance is almost here. It’s just a monitor in the kitchen, all you have to do is press a button when they get here.”  
Bill nodded and turned then turned back, “Oh, Merry Christmas.” He smiled then walked out of the room.  
My eyes widened when the date realization hit, “Oh my God.”  
Mulder shook his head, “You’re really coming up with new ways to make me believe.”  
“That was all her I swear.” I replied looking at my newborn child as she finally stopped crying and seemed to have settled into a nice nap on my chest.”  
“Yeah…well..” Mulder brushed the soft bit of reddish brown hair on the top of her head, “as long as God himself doesn’t show up claiming to be her father, I’m good.”  
“Shut up, Mulder.”  
The ambulance arrived a few minutes later. Two very nice paramedics picked me up out of the tub and placed me on a stretcher carrying me and my child out to the awaiting ambulance where the contractions started again and I completed the delivery. Mulder sat in a seat next to me as the paramedics took care of cutting the umbilical cord and disposing of the afterbirth before placing Melissa in a warming blanket and handing her back to me.  
“We should be at the hospital in a bit.” The paramedic, Jake, said looking at us, “Sorry we didn’t get there earlier, but with the snow and all.”  
“It’s fine.” I replied watching my baby sleep, “Very fine.”  
“Guess you could say I got to cross something off a bucket list.” Mulder smirked.  
“Hey, a lot of guys faint at the sight of birth so you should be proud of yourself. Dad.” Jake said patting Mulder on the back, “But you probably want to get some scrubs at the hospital to prevent catching pneumonia.”  
Mulder looked down at his wet pants and chuckled, “I had totally forgotten.”  
By the time we got checked into a room, a nice single room, where I could change into a gown and Mulder changed into some dark green scrubs, it was nearly five am and Dr. Harper had texted that they were stranded in Utah due to the snow which was picking up. A doctor came into check that I was ok while Mulder waited at the nursey as Melissa was checked on. Bill and Matthew stayed at the house and I let them know where they could find breakfast as the waffle breakfast Mulder had planned was now on hold.  
The nurse handed me a cup of water and a couple of pills, “Just some Tylenol.” She said, “The pain will return.”  
I nodded and took the pills, “I’m well aware.” I replied.  
“How many other children do you have?” she asked.  
“One.” I replied after swallowing and handing her back the cup, “He’s seventeen.”  
“Quite an age gap.” She replied, “You get your rest. Your husband said he won’t leave the nursey without his daughter.”  
“He’s a bit over protective.”  
“I wish more fathers were.” She smiled, opened the door and turned off the light, “Merry Christmas.”  
“Merry Christmas.”  
I hadn’t had a sound sleep in weeks, but once my little girl made her entrance my mind let me fully relax to the point of sleeping for five hours straight in an uncomfortable hospital bed. When I awakened I felt as if a weight had been lifted off of me. Literally and figuratively. My eyes focused on the window as the snow continued to fall and the tall man standing in front of it rocking side to side with something in his arms.  
“Is she ok?” I asked him still fearful.  
“Seven pounds six ounces, twenty-two inches.” He said turning around to look at me as he held our child in his arms wrapped in a white blanket with a little pink hat on her head, “Perfectly healthy.”  
I smiled as tears of relief fell from my eyes, “since everything is ok we can only be here twenty-four hours, but since we arrived in the middle of the night and it is Christmas, I’d really like to be home.” He continued as he sat down in the hard chair next to the hospital bed, “How do you feel?”  
“Like I had a seven-pound six ounce twenty-two-inch child ripped out of me.” I smiled, “I feel great.”  
“They gave her a bottle a couple of hours ago so you could sleep, but if you’re able…”I sensed his uncomfortableness at where the conversation was going as he focused his eyes on her sleeping face.  
“Doesn’t hurt to try.” I replied pushing myself up into a sitting position as he handed her over to me, she squirmed a bit and her still a bit red face crinkled as her eyes opened slowly looking up at me. I bit my lower lip as the tears started to fall again, “If this is a dream please do not wake me,” I said sniffing at just how beautiful she was. William was beautiful, all babies are beautiful, but there was something about this little angel that I couldn’t put my finger on.  
Mulder stood up and kissed me on the top of my head, “I’ve already pinched myself a few times.”  
My phone chimed us back into reality and Mulder picked it up off the night table, “Dr. Harper just landed. She should be here in about an hour depending on the roads.”  
As much as I should have my doctor actually meet my child, I just wanted to go home. I asked him to text her back that we wanted to go home but would wait for her to which she replied she would come baring gifts as a reason to stay. I had to chuckle at how sweet the thirty-year old doctor was.  
By noon, my newborn had successfully latched and my breasts started to fill like water balloons. For some women it can be instant, for others days, but for me all it took was my child letting me know she ready to start the floodgates. Dr. Harper arrived shortly after and did not exaggerate with the gifts. A light brown teddy bear almost as big as me, a bag of cloth diapers was handed to my husband with a wink along with a large gift bag which had the word Daddy in script on the side. I watched Mulder’s eyes get damp just looking at the bag as she handed another to me with Mommy in the same script.  
“I’ve had all of this at my house for weeks!” she said coming over to the bed and looking at the little one in my arms, “But such a miracle couldn’t have picked a more perfect day.”  
I nodded and looked to my husband who had already placed the bag on the chair and wiped his eyes, “She knows what she’s doing.”  
Being the doctor that she is, Jessica picked up my chart and flipped through it, “Any pain?”  
“Just the usual…” I replied.  
“Has your breast milk come in yet?” she continued.  
“About twenty minutes ago.” I replied.  
She nodded, “Looks like Dr. Collins checked you out when you arrived and even though it’s a holiday her birth certificate has already been filed with the state.” She continued to flip through everything and sign off on others, “Since you didn’t have an epidural I’d say if you’re up for it I say you’re free to go, granted you come to my office in the next couple of days; both of you.”  
“I know the drill.” I replied, “We already have the car seat set up and my brother can drive down and get us.”  
“Good.” She replied, “I’ll go take care of starting the discharge paperwork.”  
After she left Mulder looked down at me, “Maybe we should stay, just in case something happens.”  
“I’m fine. And I’m hungry and the last thing I want is hospital food. I’ve had enough of it for a lifetime.”  
Mulder nodded, “I understand.” He said sticking his hands in the pockets of the scrubs, “And I guess I should see if my pants are dry yet.”  
“But please text my brother and let him know where my spare keys are and ask him to come get us.”  
By dusk I was back at home, my newborn daughter asleep in her crib and I watched my husband, brother and nephew open gifts under the tree. We waited until we got home to open the gift bags from Dr. Harper. Mine had a box of Lindor Truffles, a bottle of Merlot and yoga pants which claimed to be the most comfortable pants ever. Mulder’s bag had a bottle of Scotch and a vegan baby cookbook which reminded me of my promise to share my husband’s dietary ways after Melissa was born. Maybe I could push it off till new year’s. In true Mulder form he was much more excited about the Play Station 4 than he was about the new pleather jacket I had purchased for him, and Matthew was already running downstairs with the game system to take the place of the Xbox One. I myself was very excited to try the new bath salts for when I could actually enjoy a bath again along with the magenta terry cloth robe and matching satin pajama set. In the end the only gift I really cared about was sleeping soundly as I watched her on the baby monitor app on my phone.  
All in all I could finally relax and ease into just a normal family life. Sure, I would be celebrating my fifty-fifth birthday before my daughter turned two months old, but you never know where life is going to take you; all you can do is sit back and enjoy the ride.  
“Dana..” Bill called out from the kitchen as he was opening the bottle of sparkling cider.  
“Bill…”I replied.  
“Are you expecting any guests?”  
“No.” I replied, “Why?”  
“You should probably come here.”  
Taking the nice fleece blanket off my lap I walked into the kitchen where I could hear the buzzer of the intercom at the front gate. We had only been here a few months, hadn’t even tried to make friends aside from my doctor and people we ignored at Lamaze. Who could be visiting on today of all days?  
Bill handed me a glass of cider and the image on the screen caused the glass to quickly fall from my hand. With trembling fingers, I instinctively pressed the answer button on the screen which then also turned on the camera looking right at me. The face on the other end smiled and only said two words.  
“Hi, mom.”


End file.
